Alien Invader Observation Journal: Number 6

Alien invaders on Earth have trouble with the more personal, private aspects of human behavior. Without access to television or movies (see Alien Invader Observation Journal: Number 11), they must rely on other sources for information on the human experience.

The bathroom is an especially problematic area for alien invaders. While they understand the principles of the toilet (the expulsion of solid and liquid wastes), the mechanics of the fixtures vex alien invaders. The urinal, for example, confounded them until one particularly inquisitive alien invader looked over the shoulder of a human using the installation and the mystery was solved. The commode remains a source of conjecture, since no such discreet investigations are possible.

Sexual congress also eludes alien invaders. From various publications (biology textbooks, Penthouse letters, etc.), alien invaders have gleaned ideas of how the act is done, but a number of unanswered questions remain. Alien invaders tend to be inventive, if ultimately frustrating, bed partners for most humans.